2025(6) Faith Leap - Chapter 11: Broken things in perspective

2025(6) Faith Leap - Chapter 11: Broken Things in Perspective

Our window looks directly across to the neighbor's missing window pane. It rains hear constantly this time of year, and I have often asked myself: "why do they live with an open window when they know that it is going to rain more often than not for several months out of the year? Why don't they just fix it?..." An obvious analogy here would be related to repentance. What areas in my life do I know need repair and I have just not yet been willing to make the necessary sacrifices to make the change, despite knowing that the problem is growing ever worse by ignoring it? I can see some places where I need to start some repair work...

But, also, when I zoom out just a little, I see a window just below the broken one that has obviously recently been replaced - a much larger problem that has been addressed. And, in front of the repaired window is a broken bed frame: evidence that my neighbors believe that, just because something is broken, it has not lost its value. In time, it can be repaired or repurposed. Perhaps they don't even know yet what can be done with it - so they watch and wait, until they see a way forward. And I think: There are times when I need to zoom out from the fault or difficulty I am hyper-focused on, and celebrate the larger victories that have already been won - in myself and in others. And there are times when I need someone to remind me that, even in my weakness or brokenness, I still have value, I can be mended or my purpose shifted, and it is okay if it takes some time to figure out how or to what. Life is messy and broken at times and I hope I can make (and help others make) necessary sacrifices to repair what can be repaired now, celebrate the victories, and be okay with some reparations taking some extra time. And I am so grateful for our Savior - who has the skill-set and macro perspective to do this perfectly, and to repair what I cannot.

Highlights:

• A new appreciation for the artwork of the Savior in our Georgian Orthodox prayer corner
• Strengthening family ties through inventing new games to keep us sane during the weeks without sunshine
• Richard has a little work, Bob is learning a to-be-shared-later new skill, and a daily-dose of CJ is cup-filling
• This has been a hard week because of promptings we aren't sure what to do with...
• I am being instructed on how to develop the spiritual gift of confidence to act quickly on promptings - I wish I were a faster learner

Prayer Requests:

• My Mom (Maryann) and my Grandpa (Lyman). Grandpa is 94 years old and his health is quickly declining. He fell down his stairs early this month and has been in the hospital and then rehab. He broke several bones in his face and his eye was swollen to the point where he couldn't see. He is working to regain his balance and it has been emotional for him to realize that it is no longer an option for him to return to living on his own at home. As his sole care-taker, Mom is near breaking with the many needs associated with this recent development and the back-log of her own responsibilities it is creating (Anyone who knows my Mom knows that anxiously engaged in good causes is an understatement). They both need heaven's help as they seek to bear the burdens recently placed on them. It is so hard for me to be on the other side of the world, where I cannot do much more for them other than a phone call.

Details:

Prayer Corner

Speaking of Him: This Georgian Orthodox Icon sits on the mantle of our fireplace at our AirBnB. In Georgian Orthodoxy, it is tradition to place Icons (artwork of Jesus Christ, Mary, and other Saints) in a corner of the living room, with candles and incense, for use as a prayer corner. It is such a crux of their culture that many of the converts to The Church of Jesus Christ keep their prayer corner. On the one hand, there is an idol worship feel to the practice that creates an aversion to it for me. On the other hand, I love the visual reminder to pray, and the symbolism of the presence of heavenly help in the home. I miss our Utah home's gospel-centered artwork, and have come to appreciate this prayer corner. While the art has a different feel and purpose than I am accustomed to, I am grateful to know the Subjects personally, and have Their presence represented in our home-away.

Rainy Day Games

Days and days of wind, rain, sleet, and snow means we are getting creative to prevent cabin fever. Some of our most recent games: 

Plinko down the stairs: we place small container lids and paper towel rolls wherever we want on the stairs and then send a ball down - we lose a point for each lid the ball hits, and earn a point for each paper towel roll).

Monkey in the Middle: the kids love this one. It stresses me out - for fear of breaking something. My job each time they play is to vocalize regular reminders about speed and height of their throws 😝

Step Catch: you start close together. Each round that the ball is not dropped, everyone takes a step backward. If the ball is missed, you step toward each other. This game gets more tricky when the only options for stepping back are into the kitchen or up the stairs.

Human Bowling: balancing on one leg to make it extra challenging for the bowler.

A little Income

Because of his experience with the Missionary Department, the founder of a great company sought out Richard to do a little consulting work. The company is called Ever Accountable. Their primary focus has been to help people overcome pornography addiction. But we have actually used their software for a few years now just to help us practice and teach healthy digital habits. (One thing Richard may possibly be helping them with is expanding their marketing scope for this purpose). You should check them out! This further divides his time, but what a blessing to have enough of an income to cover our groceries.

Bob's Hero Campaign Project

Bob pivoted in his Hero Campaign to focus on one specific skill that he is interested in learning. I love that he is using this project as a catalyst to try something new. His attitude is inspiring. He is allowing himself to be a beginner - willing to start over multiple times as he tries something and learns from it how to get closer to his vision for the project. I am super impressed with what he has created thus far, but he doesn't want me posting anything yet. He prefers a big reveal at the end. (His Hero Campaign is a big project for school where he creates something to represent 10 people that are a Hero to him).

Stand-ups with CJ

We have implemented daily stand-ups with CJ - to ensure he is not without the parental support he deserves just because we are not physically with him, and to include him in our daily devotionals. I don't know how meaningful this daily connection is to him, but it is cup-filling to me to feel more connected to my boy that I miss. He no longer has an alarm set because we are his wake-up call. 😆

Difficult promptings and Purpose pondering

This has been a hard week. God has given us some new promptings that create a huge list of domino-effect questions needing answers. The overwhelm of the amount of revelation we are needing is nearly unbearable. On top of that, a recent evaluation of our purpose and goals here was deflating. Yes, we see many good things that have happened. And there have been plenty of times when we have been blessed to minister to individuals when we knew we were there on God's errand. But we can't help but ask, "Did it need to be us?" We are surrounded by so many amazing people! We know that any number of them could and would have completed those errands in our place. People who are here long-term - so wouldn't it be better for them to be the ones making the connections we are making? Opportunities to love and be loved here are a blessing, but we feel we are still largely walking in the dark.

Sacrifice

I have probably mentioned this before, but all of my experiences here have led me to truly cherish the gift of sacrifice - a way for me to proactively do something when I otherwise feel powerless. As faith must precede the miracle, it is so awesome that God, who wants to give us miracles, also gives us so many ways for exercising faith through sacrifice. With such great need for revelation at the moment, we made extra efforts to sacrifice this week (consecrated Temple-minded time, fasting, giving a fast offering, etc), laying every burden and question at the Savior's feet. (I am grateful that He is so merciful! Some of my conversations with Him were pretty one-sided and raw). 

Attempting to be Taught

He has been instructing me to understand that I am too much of a hesitator. Perhaps I am overwhelmed by the amount of revelation I need to seek, because I lack the confidence to believe it is revelation when it comes. I sit on it - study it out, ponder on it - for too long. I think part of the reason I feel Him just piling more and more on with a time crunch is because He is eliminating the luxury of time to hesitate. He is helping me to learn to Trust Him, and to trust my promptings, and act. Because, here is the thing: if I have put Him first - feasting on His word (see 2 Ne 32) and turning to Him in prayer, trying my best to be obedient, and repenting daily, is there any reason that He couldn't or wouldn't speak to me when I ask Him questions? No. So I need to expect that He is answering. Understanding this does not make it easy to implement. My heart gets it, but it is a spiritual gift that I am needing to labor to receive. I am trying. I am starting each day - checking in with Him to see if there is anything I need to correct, then, with my growing list of questions in front of me, asking which question I should expect to hear from Him about today? And then, as I feast on His words, I am watching. And, at the end of my study, I remind myself that He wants to speak to me, and I ask if anything could apply to the situation I am weighing. Guys - so many times, the answer has been in my study! And I am consciously choosing to believe it is an answer from Him, and to act. Plenty of times, I haven't been able to connect an answer - at which point I remember to pray always - so to view my "Amen" as a comma, rather than a period (did Elder Bednar say that?) and I watch throughout the day for different ways the answer could come. The process is painfully slow and sloppy in my weakness, but I am finding joy and approval in it.